Concept4Banner1024 The Plural of Apocalypse: How to make a Third World Country in Only 1 Week!!

 Thursday, September 15, 2005

How to make a Third World Country in Only 1 Week!!

So I have been trying to hold back from the complimentary Katrina post. I think it's sucks that government was once again irresponsible and fucked up something with the benign neglect they seem so fond of. But I gotta admit it is excellent to have American Refugees.

How to make a third world nation in only one week:

1. Ignore infrastructure and warnings about said infrastructure weaknesses. This ignorance should go on for decades before the week of third world nation building.
2. Add one natural disaster (a man-made one can be substituted if you are on a deadline).
3. Ignore warnings about said natural disaster, don't evacuate, especially if you are poor, elderly, a minority or love your pets.
4. Watch above mentioned infrastructure weaknesses succumb to worst possible event, creating worst possible outcome.
5. Sit on hands.
6. Sit on hands and bitch that the federal government is failing your citizenry (when you forgot to call them about it).
7. Call head of FEMA, talk about pretty horses.
8. Watch city fall into anarchy, lawlessness ruling the streets.
9. Beg for national guardsmen to come and control the scared, starving, thirsty, frantic people. (realize the national guard is too busy fighting a war to be available in a reasonable amount of time)
10. Put all the people who have crawled through the mire to get out of said disaster zone into big buildings with poor ventilation when you have no running water or electricity. Don't check them for weapons in their way in.
11. By Day 4 welcome the Canadians who have actually made it to your city before your own country. And they are Canucks!
12. Cover the dead with blankets, its really hot so the people who are now officially refugees don't need them anyways.
13. Watch children and the elderly die from dehydration. This is America, where we drink more bottle water than tap water, but god knows we can't airlift in some fucking Aquafina.
14. Continue to bitch about the lack of help, when your state laws won't allow a lot of the aid that is offered to you to be accepted or used.
15. Ignore and marginalize the awesome levels of help offered to you by other countries. No, they don't need that free water purification system offered by the Germans, or the field hospitals offered by the Israelis. We'll let our people die on our own watch.
16. Get president to fly over disaster. Hope he isn't taking a bathroom break when you are over the destruction.
17. Forget that any place other than the 'big city' was destroyed. Also take time really seeking relief, these are poor minorities so getting raped and beaten in a sports dome is probably a better life than they were experiencing.
18. Watch the Red Cross bleed Americans dry while they ask the Salvation Army to feed thousands of refugees, cos they are very busy with paper work.
19. Watch the finger pointing start, talk more about ponies with FEMA guy. Keep up the good work Brownie!
20. Let the people from the new agencies rescue the stranded and give them their bottled water, those news people don't need it anyways, cos they are all robots sent from the future.

That is how to create a 3rd world country in a week. There are many more errors to make and more sitting on hands, but if I wrote all of it down I would just end up with pages and pages of it. You get the point.

Above is one of those images that has been spread all over. But I think it sums it up perfectly. Those white folks are discovering the wild Wonderbread and soda in it's native habitat (growing underwater). While that black man is stealing Diet Pepsi from the quickie mart (which isn't so quick anymore). The way I see it is, not like anyone's gonna use that after the floods, might as well let the people steal it. At least then it's not going to waste.

That's as close to ranting about the hurricane shit as I'm going to go.

I will also continue calling them refugees, not evacuees or my personal favorite: Americans. No they are refugees. By calling them anything else we are not holding people responsible for royally fucking up the response.

Favorite quote of the entire debacle: Mississippi still has a place in the future of these United States. -George W. Bush Personally I had no idea we were letting Mississippi go. Were we going to replace them with Puerto Rice so we wouldn't have to fix the flag? You'd think that now that they are going to be a huge financial drain onto he nation that his would be the perfect time to cut 'em loose.

Votes Of Sympathy:1

Comments Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree,,,

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