Concept4Banner1024 The Plural of Apocalypse: February 2006

 Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Mice into Men...

Want to understand this video? Rent or buy Serenity immediately, and you'll get it. If not, this song will get stuck in your head all freakin' day and you will slowly be driven mad by it unless you see the movie. Fun new ways to try to convince my readers to see Serenity!

And remember to click on my renter! Please, last week we did so well and this week, not so much! You can do it!

 Friday, February 24, 2006

See Me?

Perceptions are fun and interesting, so if you are reading this you have a perception of me. If you actually know me, or only know me online go to the links below and let me see how others percieve me. It'll either be great for me or so damaging to my self esteem that I never leave the house again. I'm thinking the second is highly unlikely... Come on, do it for me!

The Good:

The Not So Good:

BTW: I don't expect this to be an exact science, cos some of you know me, and some of you only know the way I write, and only know me through my words. Please indulge me with this cos I think it's brilliant, and I am due for a little bit of a mind fuck. BTW, I found this on: When We Were Liars, Things Were Seamless Which is an awesome blog.

Another awesome blog? My TENANT!! Spilling the Beans wants you to come and help her pick up the beans, be a bean counter and help a sista out!

The Game of Life

New renter! Spilling the Beans: GO SEE HER NOW! Ya'll did me proud last week, now lets keep up the good work!! Plus Spilling the Beans is a blog from across the pond which means she uses cute phrases like knickers and stuff. Much more interesting language than we get here. Please go check her out...

BTW: WTF?? Why will no one let me rent space on their blog? Do I have cooties??

If this cat were sitting with a Pepsi on a tapestry-ish looking couch this would be the cat equivalent of me.

I recently realized I haven't posted an actual personal blog post in quite some time. This may be because I am seriously lacking personality right now, or that I'm lazy. Instead I think it's cos I have no life and thus nothing real to report.

This belief was compounded yesterday when Khrysten composed a post about Space: Above and Beyond a new TV show she accidentally purchased at the urging of adorable little sci-fi boys from Best Buy. See it's like this, the show came out in 1995, we were 16, and when it came out, we had better things to do than get absorbed in a Fox sci-fi show, instead we had important things to do like harass the Denny's waitstaff and drink enough coffee to stunt our growth until we resembled Verne Troyer (mini me). Now, we are older, and thus lamer and far more boring, with acid reflux that prevents us from consuming large amounts of coffee, so we have time to get engrossed in TV and TV on DVD, cos we aren't hangin' at the Denny's 'til curfew on a Tuesday.

I love TV, this love has been espoused on this blog like Shakespeare wrote sonnets about hotties. But after thinking about it, she's right. I remember being too busy to watch Buffy on a Tuesday night, and thus never really watched a full season, save for an episode or two here and there until Buffy's final season. Thinking back the only shows I was really invested in back in the day were Roswell, Dark Angel, Rosanne and ER. Even so I'd tape episodes of Roswell and Dark Angel when I was at riding lessons, or out being a mischevious high schooler, or at work. So it's not like I was a ratings boon.

Now Amanda makes jokes that she's afraid to call me during the week in fear that she's interrupting one of my programs, which makes me feel like a grandma.

It all boils down to having a life, and I do not. Here is a typical day for me:

6:45 am Wake up, no, wait, hit the snooze button too many times until I realize I might have 5 minutes to get my shit together and get to work.
7:25 Panic and rush around house trying to gather shit for work and try to pick out clothes that will not make me look like a homeless.
7:37 Get out of apartment
7:40 Finally get dysfunctional door locked
7:47-ish arrive at work and hope no one notices I am 2 minutes late, then realize it doesn't matter cos I will just make up that lost time before lunch.
9:00-ish Smoke
11:47 Go to Lunch to read month old People magazines
2:00-ish Smoke
4:00 Give up on all work related work and waste time until 4:30
4:29 Walk up front and mark self and co-workers out for the day
4:35 Arrive at home, cuddle cats, possibly pass out from boredom
4:40-ish Call mom or Khrysten, regale boring-assed day stories
5:00-ish make something to eat and wash dishes while it cooks, multi-tasking is fun
5:30 think about cleaning cat boxes, decide against it
6:00 begin couch lounging, read mail, talk on phone, make list of things to do
7:00-10:00 watch TV, while knitting, crocheting or cross stitching
10:00-12:00 watch TV on DVD, while working on the textile arts
12:00 attempt to go to bed
12:30 possibly actually fall alseep

Some days I go shopping before I get home, those are what I consider my 'work-out' days cos pushing a cart through the store is hard work. Seriously, this is my life. On Saturdays I clean, on Sunday sometimes I do too, and sometimes I just do this strange shuffling of crap that makes me think I am cleaning when in all reality I am just shuffling crap around.
Mind you I am constantly coming up with ideas of things, and thinking about things, and going 'yeah I should totally take ballroom dancing lessons' (often mused upon while watching Drew Lachey perfom the Jive), or 'Wow, Lily totally failed to wash her hands after using the facilities' (while watching How I Met Your Mother). Okay I'll admit I was just looking for an excuse to sneak a pic of Drew in here.

And yeah, now I've lost my train of thought, because I suck. See I'm even too lazy to finish my thoughts!

Go check out my Renter, she is far more interesting than I am right now!!

 Monday, February 20, 2006

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

If you can't say something nice, then please expect me to broadcast it to all of my readers. This is a rebuttle post to hate-mail like comments I got over the weekend. Now my faithful readers, I have to say 99% of the comments left on this blog fill me with joy, but there's always that 1% that makes me want to spit venom. Granted most of those come from people who post anonymously, or who have faux accounts, which pisses me off cos then I can't fight back.

Now, instead of just fighting back on their blogs, I'm gonna post my rebuttles on here, for all to see. Mostly cos I haven't little better to say, and I'm still trying to come up with something really juicy to post about.

MrGnash: 'The plural of apocalypse?' - you'd think someone that made a reference to that line by way of their blog title would have actually seen Buffy, and therefore also know that 'that bitch' can indeed 'act her way out of a paper bag.' Opionated, hateful and ignorant; what a winning combination. -Posted on 'When a Stranger Calls...'

My comment left on his blog (probably deleted by him before posting it with his shrine to Sarah Michelle Gellar): This may come as a surprise to you but I am a hard-core Buffy fan. I've even been to conventions and written fan fic and everything. My love of the Buffyverse and all things related to it has little to do with Sarah Michelle Gellar (SMG). I am looking forward to her career, hoping that somehow she can impress me (not that that should be any sort of goal for her or anything). My arguement is simple, SMG, constantly plays the same character (or just a slight off of it) over and over, which makes her 'talents' appear to be lacking, she may very well be the next Sally Field (jumping from TV teen star to Oscar caliber actress), but I haven't seen any signs of this as of yet. I have been well aware of SMG since she was on Swan's Crossing a teen-soap in the US. And my favorite movie of hers is Cruel Intentions. I am not ignorant or hateful, I was being funny, it's called humor you should look into it. Opinionated, I'll take. But before you go accusing me of anything you really should have the sense to take a step back and look through the rest of the blog. If you had you'd see I have a dark sense of humor and a deep love of all things Joss. Didn't Buffy teach you anything? Cos if I were judging based on your blog, I'd think you were an obsessed fan who needs to get out more and meet real life girls. Instead I think maybe you just like to look at her, maybe she helps you make it through the day, makes life a little more tolerable cos let's face it, life sucks. Flaming someone out on their own blog is really just not very nice. Remember, if you can't say anything nice then shut the fuck up.

Also I have references for both my Buffy the Vampire Slayer obsession (just ask Kinky Poe or Ivory Valentine, although I blame Kinky Poe for all of it), and that Sarah Michelle Gellar really could use some better roles.

To further back up my point that Sarah Michelle Gellar can’t act her way out of a paper bag I offer up the following roles:

The Grudge (Khrysten and I have declared this one of the worst movies ever made): Karen Davis, American nurse working in Japan, ends up in a cursed home with the curse ‘after her’ Karen has to find a way to stop the curse and survive! In other words: Look, it’s Buffy without special superhero powers!

Scooby Doo 1 & 2: Daphne, Yes DAPHNE from Scooby Doo, there’s an award winning role. That is if the award you are after is from NICKELODEON! Puhlease.

Harvard Man: Cindy Bandolini: Holy Cross Cheerleader who dated Harvard point guard gets her boyfriend mixed up in sports betting. Oh yeah, her dad is a mobster! I gotta admit I’ve never seen this movie cos I’ve only ever seen it in the $5.50 bin at Wal-Mart, and while I will buy pretty much anything out of this bin, I just can’t bring myself to buy this.
Cruel Intentions: Kathryn Merteuil, Remember how evil and mischievous Glenn Close was in Dangerous Liaisons? Don’t expect it here. Gellar plays a modern version of Close’s character, and does a damn fine job of it. This is my favorite SMG role, but I gotta say the only reason she mastered this one, in it’s queen bee bitch best, was being Erika Kane’s daughter on All My Children. Favorite line: “You can put it anywhere”

Simply Irresistible: Amanda Shelton, Another $5.50 bin movie. Amanda is a chef driving her restaurant into the ground until a magical blue crab makes her the witchiest cook ever. Her food really is magic! Hmm a theme? Magic??

Scream 2: Cici Cooper, Hmm get a body bag, this one’s gonna be messy! Look she’s a horror movie ‘scared girl in dark alley’ wait, wasn’t one of Joss Whedon’s main purposes to Buffy to have the girl in peril in the dark alley, who suddenly turns around and kicks her pursuers ass? In other words: Cici is cannon fodder, like Buffy was without the super powers.

I Know What You Did Last Summer: Helen Shivers, Hmm pretty beauty queen, dumb as box of hammers, girl in peril, wait! It’s BUFFY WITHOUT SUPER POWERS!!!

Besides Cruel Intentions, I love SMG on Saturday Night Live. She’s got great comedic ability, and should probably try to develop it. Otherwise, I’m just not seeing a lot of development as an actor. I’m seeing a lot of brilliant financial moves (except Simply Irr. Which was a GIGANTIC box office flop), but not a lot of substance. She’s got like 8 projects wrapped through pre-production. In one of the roles she’s a porn star, which I gotta admit, I might have to go see in theaters. There might be hope for her after all.

For more info on why this blog is called Plural of Apocalypse read this post: Apocalypse Why

Finally, I do LIKE SMG, I just don't think there's an Oscar in her future. Then again had you asked me the same thing about Charlize Theron I probably would have laughed at you 5 years ago. Out of the Buffy posse, if you asked me, the most likely to end up with an Oscar, besides Anthony Stewart Head, is probably Eliza Dushku. Anyone who saw her in That Night, True Lies or This Boy's Life, knows that this girl has talent, she just needs to find better roles (Tru Calling was not a test of her acting abilities, it was a test of how far she could run without a bra in a tank top).

Rant over. Wanna meet someone nice? Go click on my renter. Their time here is almost done, and I'm already getting seperation anxiety!

 Monday, February 13, 2006

Owner of a Broken Heart

Oi! I suck at landlording. So I am ammending this post to announce the new Tenant of the Week (sound trumpets now)! This week's blog is Northern Bound. Now, I have been admiring this blog for some time. It's pretty, really pretty. It's well organized, and has Chibi-like thingies all over it. My only issue: I have no freaking clue what the blog is about 99% of the time. I think this is intentional though. She has Beginner's D&D Class (no nothing sexual, the game dumbass, Dungeons and Dragons), which is one of those things I have a love/hate of. I am inwardly replused by the idea of D&D, but I am also somewhat jealous that I am not involved. It's like a geek-meeting, and apparently I'm just not geeky enough to get invited. That's my issue, not hers. I assume she is female cos I can't actually find a screen name. Aren't you intrigued now? Isn't this just all mysterious??? Yeah it is, go check her out. My poor renters have been getting screwed lately. Ya'll used to always click on them, and now not so much, this makes me sad, are we breaking up???????
Image used without permission from Boils and Blinding Toment

Songs to survive a break up to… Inspired by Michael’s Breaking Up is As Easy as 123. This isn't just a list to cry to. It's a list to stalk to, to pine with, it's a list for anyone who's desperately wanting. It's 100 or so odd songs. Ranges from the 30's through to today, just to prove how fucked up and diverse my musical tastes are. Some have album titles, others don't. It's called google if you need to know that badly.

Why now? For those of us in the single boat, well we need something to make us remember why we keep trying. It's the pain stupid. Plus it's Valentine's Day, and well, it's a good time to remember love's lost, love's squashed, and love's run away from like a screaming child runs from a clown at a birthday party. Enjoy!

Lie To Me – Depeche Mode: Some Great Reward
Something I Can Never Have – Nine Inch Nails: Pretty Hate Machine
Wonderful – Adam Ant: Wonderful
Glynis – Smashing Pumpkins: No Alternative
Tear in Your Hand – Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes
Lucky 4 You – Shedaisy
Good Bye to You – Michelle Branch: The Spirit Room
Idiot Boyfriend – Jimmy Fallon
The Trouble With Love is – Kelly Clarkson: Thankful
She Cries Your Name – Beth Orton: The Female Touch
Wish You Were Here - Incubus
Desperately Wanting – Better Than Ezra
Hit ‘em Up Style – Blu Cantrell
Letter to Elise - The Cure
Total Eclipse of the Heart – Bonnie Tyler
Out of This World – Bush
Laid - James
Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
Under the Milky Way Tonight – The Church
Bizarre Love Triangle - Frente
Trouble – Coldplay: Parachutes
Better Be Home Soon – Crowded House: Recurring Dream
Pictures of You – The Cure: Staring at the Sea
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
Somebody – Depeche Mode: Some Great Reward
This Love - Maroon 5
Come Undone – Duran Duran: Greatest
Every Time We Say Good Bye – Ella Fitzgerald
Favorite T - The Lemonheads
I Want Love – Elton John: Songs From the West Coast
Never is a Promise – Fiona Apple: Tidal
Gone Daddy Gone - The Violent Femmes
Do You Realize? – The Flaming Lips: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Where Are You Now? – Goran Kralj
Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake
Why Can’t I? – Liz Phair: Liz Phair
The Bottom Line – Depeche Mode: Ultra
Ball & Chain - They Might be Giants
Torn – Natalie Imbruglia
Said Sadly – James Iha & Nina Gordon: Smashing Pumkins: The Aeroplane Flies High
Simple Kind of Life – No Doubt: Return of Saturn
One Way or Another - Blondie
The Ghost in You – Psychedelic Furs: All of This and Nothing
Us – Regina Spektor: Soviet Kitsch
Every Breath You Take - The Police
Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley
Angels – Robbie Williams: The Ego Has Landed
True - Spandau Ballet
Rest in Pieces – Saliva: Back Into Your System
Miss You Love – Silverchair: Neon Ballroom
Cell Block Tango - Chicago Musical Soundtrack
Let Me In – Save Ferris
You’re All I’ve Got Tonight – Smashing Pumpkins
Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley: Grace
Interstate Love Song – Stone Temple Pilots
When You Come Back to Me – World Party: Reality Bites Soundtrack
All I Want is You - U2
Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve Pipe: Cruel Intentions Soundtrack
#1 Crush – Garbage: Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack
Putting the Damage On – Tori Amos: Boys for Pele
Locked Out - Crowded House
Little Heaven – Toad the Wet Sprocket: In Light Syrup
Baker, Baker – Tori Amos: Under the Pink
Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jeff Buckley: Grace
Careless Whispers – Wham!
Love is Stronger Than Death – The The
Your Favorite Thing – Sugar
Across the Night – Silverchair: Diorama
The Chemicals Between Us – Bush
Dilate – Ani Difranco: Dilate
You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore – Neil Diamond: Essential
Slept So Long – Jay Gordon: Queen of the Damned Soundtrack
Not Enough Time - INXS: Shine Like it Does
After the Love Has Gone – Earth Wind and Fire: Greatest Hits
Pure – The Lightning Seeds: CloudCuckooland
Baby Bitch – Ween: Chocolate and Cheese
Hurt – Nine Inch Nails: The Downward Spiral
Hurt – Johnny Cash version
Tuna in the Brine – Silverchair: Diorama
32 Flavors – Ani Difranco: Not a Pretty Girl
Because of You – Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway
Near You Always – Jewel: Pieces of You
The Things You Said – Depeche Mode: Music for the Masses
Fade Into You – Mazzy Star: So Tonight That I Might See
Don’t – Jewel: Pieces of You
2 am – Ana Nalick: Wreck of the Day
Your House – Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American
Where is Your Heart – Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway
A Night Like This – The Cure: Staring at the Sea
Stuck in a Moment – U2
Never Tear Us Apart – INXS
By My Side – INXS
Are You Happy Now? – Michelle Branch: Hotel Paper
Fall Down – Toad the Wet Sprocket: Dulcinea
Something So Strong – Crowded House: Reality Bites Soundtrack
White Flag – Dido
So Much For My Happy Ending – Avril Lavine
Listen To Your Heart – DHT Piano version
You’re Beautiful – James Blunt
If You Leave – OMD
Collide – Howie Day
The Promise – When in Rome
China – Tori Amos
In a Big Country – Big Country
The Perfect Drug – Nine Inch Nails
My Immortal – Evanescence
If I Fall – Tara MaClean
Wild Horses – The Sundays
Sweet Jane – Jesus and Mary Chain: Natural Born Killers Soundtrack
Shit List – L7: Natural Born Killers Soundtrack
One – U2: Actung Baby
To You I Bestow – Mundy
The Drowning Man – The Cure: Faith
But Not Tonight – Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
It Doesn’t Matter – Depeche Mode: Some Great Reward
Trip on Love – Abra Moore
Stay (I Missed You) – Lisa Loeb
The More You Ignore Me (The Closer I Get) – Morrissey
Secretly - Skunk Anansie
Insensitive - Jann Arden
Color Blind - Counting Crows
Uninvitied - Alanis Morrisette
**Songs in Pink are newer additions

Did I forget something? Let me know in comments (that means you too lurkers!)

 Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Where Do You Get Your Drugs?

Is it wrong that this makes me giggle with anti-ci-pation??

You are Colombia (Little Nell)

You are Colombia. You rock in that special way only the squeaky can.

Which Rocky Horror character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Remember kids:
Well I was walking down the street
Just a having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again

 Tuesday, February 07, 2006

When a Stranger Calls...

HANG THE FUCK UP!!!! Don't go see this movie, please, it sucks!! Save Yourself!!

This movie is based on Suburban Legend. The legend goes something like this: A girl is babysitting for an unfamiliar family when she starts getting phone calls. They seem like prank phone calls, with heavy breathing. Eventually they move onto harassment. Girl calls police who offer to trace the call back to the harasser. Dude calls again. As soon as she hangs up, the cops call 'The call is coming from inside the house!' This is where the stories vary: In some she goes to gather the children and they are already dead, in others she gets the children out of the house and fights off the bad man just before the cops show up to arrest him. It turns out he's a serial killer wanted in many states for doing exactly what he tried to do here. Yeah, see you've heard this story before!

It's not a bad story per se. It's just an overdone story. I mean, hell this movie was a remake. There was also a series of young adult fiction books written by R.L Stine (of Fear Street Series and Goosebumps fame) called appropriately The Babysitter I-IV (cos they just couldn't kill that Jenny!!). Everytime a story like this is redone it loses some of it's sparkle and intrigue. It gets a little lamer everytime.

Issues with When a Stranger Calls:

#1: Names: The actress in the main role is named Camilla Belle, which sounds more like a porn star name than the name of a young actress in Hollywood (BTW: She is the only actress I think might earn an Oscar AFTER Sarah Michelle Gellar, and that bitch can't act her way out of a paper bag). Her character? Jill Johnson. HELLO, could we get any duller? I know this is supposed to be generic babysitter girl, but damn that's a plain name.

#2: It's rated PG-13, this means no swearing, no blood, no actual death on screen, just implied death. The director went for the old school Hitchockian suspense: not showing the evil man, house is always dark, phone rings when it's dead silent. But in this film they all come off as amatuerish and cheesy.

#3 The people she is babysitting to don't even actually show her the children before they leave. She never sees the kids until the movie is over half over.

#4 The same shit, different movie. Oh no! The garage has been unlocked since she got there! They have a black cat!! Oh No! She locked the door in a place the children can't reach which means they will die!! Oh No! The evil man is chasing her, logic would say, GO UPSTAIRS WHERE THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!! Oh! What's that noise? Oh! Getme my fire poker so I can check on the noise in the kitchen that just happens to be the cat! Come On! This shit is so old I think ancient hominids drew it on cave walls.

#5 Only satisfying moment: Cat finally gets to eat a bird from the aviary. The whole movie this poor cat is watching these birds in the aviary, little yellow canary-ish birds. All the whole movie you know he wants to eat them. Finally Jester gets his chance, and oh it's so good.

#6 Things to suspend belief over: This family is really wealthy, 2 doctors with a house covered in creepy art with state of the art lighting, an aviary, ect... Why do the children share a fucking bedroom? Why do they still own a corded phone? Why do they only own one car?

So my advise is as follows: In a year this movie will be on USA Network, nearly every weekend, probably being shown back to back with I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and Urban Legend. Watch it then, cos there is nothing for them to cut out of it. It's not worth the $9 to see it in a theater and god knows I wouldn't buy it if it were the only DVD ever offered for sale again.

You want to see a good young adult thriller-ish kid of movie, a movie that'll mind-fuck you a little? Check out Soul Survivors: The Killer Cut. This movie is creepy as hell, and has Eliza Dushku and her breasts (which is what people really like about her right?). Plus Wes Bentley from American Beauty and the Bennifer's little bro Casey. Also Bonus: it is easy to find in Wal-Mart $5.50 DVD bins everywhere.

New Renter!!!
Generally I try to pick renters I like. Last week's pick didn't get nearly the hits that my renters usually do. I have no reason why. I blame all of you readers for letting me down. (or possibly my shitty landlording skillz).
This week's renter deserves better than last week's Mobbit! It's KizzyKim and 'Today in the Life.' She's just a babe of 20, but is a theater major (you know what that means, DRAMA!), and is funny and smart; even for one of those theater kids (wait I was one of those kids who hung with the theater kids in High School.. I wonder if she likes Morrissey...) Anywhoo, go check her out. She was a part of Hanson-mania, and you can all get behind that right??? Also one of her 'Ways to Win My Heart' was 'Be not a douchebag.' I agree KizzyKim, I agree...
Why didn't they ever get a Milk Moustache commercial for A Clockwork Orange??
I bet it'd have been real horrorshow, what with the Moloko and all...
So please go click on her blog over there in the renters box. If you don't I might sit you down in a chair ala 'A Clockwork Orange' and make you watch 'When a Stranger Calls...'

 Monday, February 06, 2006


I'm not sure if I should be proud of this, but I will say that I am cos I got all 10 right. I'm all about the A+ so go me!

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

 Wednesday, February 01, 2006

TV Wha?

Image hosting by Photobucket

First of all, I am a horrible landlord. Seriously this place is turning into a slum, I should change my named to slumlord (not lord of the dance). Please go visit Blogs Are for Wimps, they are right there at the left, waiting eagerly for you to click them. Bloga Are For Wimps is run by a plethora of interesting and funny bloggers. Anyone with the name FrodoCorleone kinda should be taken notice of (is he a hobbit, is he a mobster, is he a hobbit in a mob?). Anywhoo, go check them out, or my little angel up there will riddle you with holes, and she won't feel bad about it, no she won't.

I've been trying to think of things to write this blog about. But I have settled on a topic finally. Enjoy!

Topic: Shit I Just Don't Get, Or Shit That Makes No Sense, TV Edition

1. Shit about LOST:
1a: On Lost by now don't you think someone/all would be covered head to toe in mosquito bites? I mean that island must be crawling with hungry blood suckers.
1b:Also it's a tropical island, those little fuckers probably have malaria, why does no one have malaria? There can't be that much Gin left!
1c: Why does no one have ghiardia or diptheria or cholera or e.coli from drinking unfiltered island water? I am sure the polar bears and other shit on the island drinks from that water too, and I bet they shit by it. Someone should have stomach illness and/or die from it by now. If Ma on Oregon Trail could die from it, so can Claire (not that I want Claire dead, maybe Ana Lucia)
1d: How did Sawyer's shoulder heal that fast? Since the season started they have covered like maybe 5-7 days. No one's gun shot wound heals that fast!! Is Jack a miracle worker?
1e: All they eat is fruit and whatever sea shit Jin catches. Why does everyone not have a raging case of diarrhea? Seriously, eat nothing but fruit and leaves with a smattering of fish and maybe some pork thrown in and you will seriously need to make a pit-stop every 10 minutes.
1e1: Where are they going to the bathroom???? Did they dig a hole???? (then again I have this issue with every show cos they never show anyone actually going to the bathroom, on some shows you never even saw the bathroom in the house! exceptions: Buffy and Roseanne).

2. Murder She Wrote Issue: Why did no one ever notice that murder followed Angela Landsbury like a hungry puppy follows a child with cheerios? Seriously! Didn't she ever find it strange? I mean after a while I wouldn't leave the house if everytime I went somewhere people died (note it wasn't like random people died, they were usually tied to her some how, so the 'but people die every day every where excuse' doesn't work!). I mean Cabot Cove wasn't a hot bed of gang activity or anything right?

3. Firefly Issues (Yes I have a few):
3a:In the Firefly episode 'Out of Gas' all of the life-support systems are down because the engine doesn't turn. So why do they have gravity? Wouldn't there have to be some sort of gravity generator to maintain the gravity? Without the engine or the back-up generator they'd be floating around all Jubal Early like.
3b: Why doesn't the crew of Serenity look a lot dirtier? I mean, we've seen Inara take a sponge bath, but even so, I can't figure out where the showers and/or bathtubs might be. So from what I can tell the crew of Serenity must be awfully rank. Maybe in the future they can get their stink removed?? Maybe they have magic body cleaning fairies?

4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel:
4a: In Season 2 they figure out the Romany spell to put the soul back into Angelus and return him to his Angel self. The Orb of Thessula used to do so is apparently so common a magic item that the clerk remarks that she sells them as paper weights. Willow could successfully complete the spell. SO why did they never soul Spike or Drusilla or Dracula or any of the other vampire nemeses? I mean it was a generic spell and wouldn't it be easier to just soul them and ruin their unlives than fight them to the death?
4b: What the hell was wrong with the residents of Sunnydale? Had they never seen a horror movie or read Bram Stoker's Dracula? I mean HELLO! People are always dying of neck trauma, how long can a community really believe that they have a PCP taking gang problem??
4c: We watched 2 Magic Shop owners get whacked on Buffy. Then Giles thinks its a brilliant idea to buy and reopen the Magic Box. Why did the evil undead never specifically target him for death? I mean there was a precedent set that Magic Store owners have short life spans, why was Giles an exception??
4d. On Angel Lorne has his karaoke club protected by a demon non-violence spell, SO why did they never use this spell anywhere else?? I mean Buffy could have used that one in her house or at the high school or the Magic Box. Angel could have used it when he took over Wolfram and Hart or the hotel or many other places. Considering the Muses who were crushing on Angel were the ones who had to place the spell I think Angel could have gotten them to bless anything he wanted. So why didn't they??
4e: Why did they never share information or technology or any thing between Sunnydale and LA? I knwo the shows were on different networks for a while, but shit, this just seems stupid, like they can't pick up the phone??
4f: In Season 4 of Angel The Beast blocks out the sun and causes a hellfire rain. Why didn't the sun go out in Sunnydale? Why were there no torrential hellfire warnings over the god damned HELLMOUTH?? I'm thinking darkness and hellfire wouldn't be an exclusive LA thing, but then again I have heard it called Hell-A.

Got a TV Issue? I know you do cos I am sure I have about 50 more I just can't remember them. Post 'em in comments, I might ammend this if I come up with more!

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