Concept4Banner1024 The Plural of Apocalypse: Week in Review

 Friday, November 18, 2005

Week in Review

First off, I have created a Chibi Army. Oh yes I have. Courtesy of the Gaia Dream Creator, I present to you my current Army:

The Dark, Evil One (she's just scary):
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Geisha Dream (Her fan is also a weapon):
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Foxy Mamma (it's her job to make sure all my enemies get served, so she carries a boom-box with her at all times in preparation for the innevitable dance off):
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Alien Mistress (She has laser beams in her antennae, I swear!):
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Goody Two Shoes (the arch nemesis of The Dark, Evil One, who is only working with her to defeat whomever I sic them on):
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This Army has mysterious plans to invade a Blog near you, so beware! (or not, they are just little anime grrrls)

Harrowing Wausau experience of the week: FROG LEGS. Today while at the grocery store I was at the meat/fish counter when I noticed they were running an in-store special on FROG LEGS. I live in northern Wisconsin, how anyone could need to buy frog legs is fucking beyond me. They were situated between scallops the size of my tiny tiny fists and fresh Walleye fillets. The frog legs come pre-bagged in little sandwich bags with (get this) green twist ties (just cruel). What was even scarier was they were apparently a hot seller with the case only being half full. It only made me wonder if people are embarrased to ask for a pack of condoms how embarassing must it be to ask for 5 lbs of Frog Legs? I mean what could you need all those frog legs for? They lookl ike anorexic chicken legs, it's really disturbing shit. Then I wondered if the frog leg industry had been hurt by the hurricanes, so while they were currently on sale for $5.99/lb that maybe in years past they were cheaper, and since the hurricanes the price had to be jacked up cos frog farmers all over the south lost their crops. Then I wondered if there were frog farms, and that's when I realized I should just get my damn meatloaf mix and go cos this was just too upsetting. FROG LEGS!!

Things I learned this week:
#1 Shut up. I mean it, just shut up cos if I am allowed to open my mouth at work I will either offend someone or get my unit in trouble, either sucking big time.
#2 The Urgent Care Center at the Wausau Center is only worth your time if you get Sara, the rest of the staff might as well be chimpanzees.
#3 The chick who works at the Pharmacy at Wausau Center is a HUGE Firefly/Serenity fan, making me realize, we are every where, beware, one day we will take over. Browncoats Unite!
#4 I am cosmically screwed, Serve or Suffer Biatch

Today I had trouble getting motivated to write up this blog, which is strange cos I usually look forward to my week in review. Then I realized nothing at all happened this week, and felt stupid. I was mostly medicated or asleep which makes for little blog silliness.

Karma's Bitch of the Week: Khrysten takes it again as her car has once again died, and the pneumonia is probably making a come-back after she had to wait 2 hours ofr the tow truck for said dead vehicle. Note to the public: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT buy an Izuzu ViaCross they are just a nightmare.

Album of the week: Robbie Williams, Escapology & Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American

Moments that made me feel shiny:
Sorry, I've got nothin'

Unfinished Projects, Finally Finished: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is finite. The Serenity Novelization is also complete (I highly recommend it to anyone who was a fan of Firefly or the movie, it's excellent although some of it is out of cannon or flat out wrong. Dude, his name is Meria Book not Derrial)

Movie of the Week: Closer After seeing this if Natalie Portman ever wants to go gay, I am so there. Just see it, this movie is a mond-fuck and she is delicious in it. Also this movie made me love Clive Owen and realize that Juse Law (besdies having a tiny tiny cock) has little to no talent outside of being pretty and problematic. Oh yeah Julia Roberts is in it too. 5 BlackEyes out of 5.

Honorable mention goes to Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason cos I love the word fuck-tard after this, and have realized I am Bridgit Jones except skinnier, not British and not fictional. Fuck-tard!!! 4 BlackEyes out of 5

Movie WASTE of the week: Ocean's Twelve: Why did they bother??? No BlacEyes, but a punch in the kisser

TV of the week: This week's honor goes to.... The Comedians of Comedy The show on Comedy Central makes me want to wet myself. The actual documentary on Showtime nearly did. Patton Oswald and Zack Galifikankis (or how ever you spell it) are my comedic wet dreams. I would so do them (and afterwards me and Patton could read comic books in bed and have deep discussions about Kitty Pryde and Joss Whedon's realization and utilization of her as a character in The Astonishing X-Men, oh yeah I am this geeky, Zack could just pass out for all I care).

A Big Happy Birthday goes out to:
Nick on Nov 12th
Gene on Nov 18th

I know only one of you reads this thing, so happy birthday, the other is too busy trying to change the consitution or some shit.

Lessons Learned: Do not blog under the influence of Nyquil, cos it only makes you less funny.

New Blog to Love: Bonanza Jellybean, Zube-Girl and Painting Chef have formed a problem solving collective known as We Three Bitches. Go get their help now, immediately you know you are fucked up! We 3 Bitches

Until I have something good to say again (check out all my favorite blogs)... Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow...

Votes Of Sympathy:5

Comments Blogger PaintingChef said...

Thanks for the mention!

Oh, and by the way...I saw the Comedians of Comedy show live several months ago and it was FANTASTIC! I am so in love with Zach G, its not even funny. Except that everything about him is funny...

3:32 PM  
Comments Blogger mrcoolbadguy said...

Hey my blog works again.

5:38 PM  
Comments Blogger Eric said...

If memory serves, and it usually doesn't I think Natalie Portman does go gay in
"V for Vendetta" which will be out later this year or early next year. I'm SO there.

And the idea of padding one's condom purchase with frog legs is hilarious!!

11:16 PM  
Comments Blogger lysie6211 said...

Fucktard. LOL. That is a great word.

8:02 AM  
Comments Blogger Doctor Fong said...

whoa!

10:46 PM  

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