Concept4Banner1024 The Plural of Apocalypse: Last Minute Gift Ideas...

 Thursday, December 22, 2005

Last Minute Gift Ideas...

As per usual this is uncredited. I tried to find a credit for it, but I suck. I found it on google images so that makes it fair game according to me. Plus kittens + presents always = happy faces!

So I know there are a lot of you out there who have yet to buy your gifts. To you I say SHAME! But I also kinda understand. Christmas snuck up mighty fast this year, and I'm am sure you are sooooo busy that you couldn't be bothered with shopping.

Here are my top 5 suggestions of items to get for people in your family or your friends. These are all things I either own or lust for so I can tell you they are good.

#1: Serenity on DVD. Yes it's the Firefly movie, and yes it's damn good.
Who this is perfect for: Trekkies or Trekkers who love westerns too, sci-fi fantatic fathers, Battlestar Galactica fans (and if you head to best buy you get a coupon for $10 off BSG w/ Serenity), your little sister or niece who still hangs with the boys, anyone who thought the last 3 Star Wars movies sucked the ass.
Available at: Best Buy, Amazon, any place that sells new release DVDs.

#2 A Few Good Men Lip Balm Set. 3 different yummy tasting lip balms brought to you by the people at Philosophy.
Who this is perfect for: Shitty Teenage girl who's always wearing too much make-up, little sisters who are trying to grow up too fast, and mom's who love to bake but bitch that it collects on their ass.
Available at: Amazon, Marshall Fields, Younkers, Boston Store QVC, Nordstroms, basically anyplace that sells really nice cosmetics (or carries the Philosophy line).

#3 Dance Dance Revolution and Game Pad for whatever game platform you want (I prefer Xbox). This is highly addictive and great exercise.
Who this is perfect for: Fat cousin who spends all his/her time making love to their video games, mom or aunt (who have kids with gaming system) who are always talking about cardio workouts, little sisters and teenaged girls. Hell this is perfect for anyone who wants to get off their ass and move. Plus it's a lot of fun.
Available at: Game Stop, Funco, Best Buy, Toys R Us, Amazon, Game Exchange, anywhere video games and supplies are sold, just make sure you get a gift reciept in case you screwed up which platform they have.

#4 An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List by Laurie Notaro. Laurie's hilarious, seriously hilarious, I have read almost all of her books and I have never been disappointed!
Perfect for: Any woman with a sense of humor! Who will really appreciate it: quirky sisters, single female friends, cousins who lament that their life sucks. Trust me this book rules!!
Available at: Barnes and Nobel, Amazon, Borders, any self-respecting book retailer.

#5 Kill it and Grill it by Shermaine and Ted Nugent. Yes I said Ted Nugent, yes I mean that Ted Nugent. This is an awesome book for any hunter in your family. The recipes are easy to make, taste good (my dad has it), and have great stories accompanying them. Leave it to Uncle Ted to do this right!
Perfect for: Hunters, Survivalists, pwoplw who think the Apocalypse is on it's way, or people who might eat road-kill.
Available at: Gander Mountain, Cabelas, Barnes and Nobel, Amazon, Borders, blah blah blah.

Some generic recommendations (I can't make recommendations for every kind of person, frankly I don't have any kids to shop for, so I am limited to my sphere of refrence. Sorry, but you should have thought about this sooner!):

For a girl under age 8: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT buy them Bratz shit. Do not sponsor their future whore-dom today. Why not try: Polly Pocket, My Little Pony, or the old standby Barbie? These are all great toy lines that offer lots of fun and will mostly not breed future whores of America.

For a Mom: It made Oprah's Favorite Things list for over 3 years. It's Philosophy's Hope in a Jar, while you are there, also pick her up some Philosophy Amazing Grace body wash and body souffle. Trust me momma will love you for this.

I'd love to offer you more ideas, but that's all I have. Why? COS I ALREADY SHOPPED UNTIL I WAS BLUE IN THE FACE!!! Otherwise I'll be happy to make suggestions in the comments section if you come up with someone I haven't listed up here.
'til later, have fun finding a parking space while I watch TV suckers!!

Votes Of Sympathy:6

Comments Blogger New York City's Watchdog said...

Polly Pocket??? With the exception of that one... I'd agree with everything else... and yes... the Bratz should be burned alive

4:53 PM  
Comments Blogger IvoryValentine said...

What's the beef with Polly Pocket? It's amazing how many five year old girls love Polly! Although, it's less fun now that there's no way you can choke on her. You could totally choke on the Polly of our day!

9:19 AM  
Comments Blogger Thomas Siefert said...

I just want The Aventures of Briscoe County Jr. to be released on DVD. After that I won't need anything else.

I realise that I'm being shallow so I also wish for world peace.

12:11 PM  
Comments Blogger Eric said...

I don't have anything to do with them and this isn't spam, but check out

I got two copies of Firefly for $54, which is just over what one copy would cost at my local Fred Meyer or whatever.

9:28 AM  
Comments Blogger Eric said...

okay, just checked, it was $34 each but I had some coupon or another. Always free shipping too!

Just a thought!

Happy holidays!

9:32 AM  
Comments Anonymous Mike said...

Barbies are _better_ than Bratz? Barbies condition young girls to be shallow, stupid, and materialistic, all Bratz do is condition them to wear slutty clothes. Plus, barbies promote eating disorders, and they got coties. :-P

3:52 PM  

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