These Precious Things

Have you ever accidentally rediscovered a favorite artist? Today I sort of did. Don't get me wrong, I still love Tori Amos, I never really stopped, I just stopped listening.

One of my proudest moments involves vomiting on Michael Stipe's (of REM) shoes at the Riverside in Milwaukee. I was 15 and it was the Under the Pink tour (I believe) and Michael Stipe and her were buds at the time, and this very large man and him sat directly in front of us (which prompted one of the people I was with to wonder if we should ask him "What's the frequency Kenneth?"). I was sick as hell, but nothing was going to keep me from this damn concert. Thanks to it, I not only puked on Stipe, but I also met this girl Jaimie who was friends with my friend Sean after she heard someone ask if I was okay in the bathroom. I have an uncommon name, so she wasn't taking that huge of a chance by seeing if I was Sean's friend she had heard so much about. We ended up really good friends for the rest of high school (until her psychotic boyfriend moved her to Madison, and I became a raver and we totally grew apart, if anyone knows where to find Jaimie Fairbanks of Oconomowoc let me know!). Eventually Jaimie, Sean, our friend Dave and I prayed a lot for Trent Reznor and Tori Amos to have brilliant music babies (when this did not happen we figured we proved there was no god, cos if there was he would have made this happen). So this concert was one of those important moments of my young radical life.

I discovered Tori on a Mtv show called 'Alternative Nation' (yeah look at me show my age), where I saw the video for 'Crucify' and I was just amazed at this firey little red head. She was ballsy, and straddled her piano like she was fucking it, and she was a god damn revelation to a 14 year old. Her 'Little Earthquakes' album was one of the albums that shaped my young mind and got me through a heap of heartache and horrific moments. 'Under the Pink' was amazing, cos I was definately not a Cornflake Girl. It was just the shit. Plus, duet with Trent (who was my god to her goddess all through high school). After Boys for Pele she kinda lost me. I loved Tori, but I was confused. It just got a little too wierd after that.

I argue Tori opened the door for artists like Fiona Apple and Regina Spektor and all these piano wielding girls who followed afterwards. Actually she made it okay to be a girl and be angry and make beautiful music. Which just wasn't heard of. And still isn't so much. Women have apparently lost their anger and now would rather just sing about 'S8er Boi's' and how he broke her heart or whatever. Tori was angry, she was mad about rape, and that other women sucked and she wondered what was up with god, and her music had so much more meaning. Now I have pretty much tuned out since Boys for Pele, so if there's anything new and worth it let me know, dear readers.

Back to my point. The other day I downloaded 'China' off Kazaa (yes I am a bad bad person, let me explain), cos a few years ago my 'Little Earthquakes' CD up and walked away. So I bought 'Songs of a Librarian' (greatest hits sort of) to regain what I missed from LE and then that walked away too. So technically everything I downloaded I have already paid for at least once.

Again, Back to the point: I forgot how much China moved me. So I started downloading all the songs off Little Earthquakes and it was like a ton of bricks. A fucking revelation at 26, that this was a phenomenal life changing album. I'm no music geek (trust me 90% of my CDs are from High School), but this album is just fucking amazing.

So I've fallen back in love with Little Earthquakes. Cos if I thought it was somehow relevant to my little high school self (I was always so self important), now I see it even more so. It still moves me, it still makes me cry, it still makes me want to kick ass and take names. It makes me never want to settle for less than I deserve. Cos while Tori does write 'he broke my heart' songs, they say things like 'Maybe she's pieces of me you've never seen.' So now I give you a taste of Tori, lyrics completely belong to Tori, I only wish I could write stuff this good. If you don't own this album buy it immediately. I guarantee it'll move you.

Silent All These Years:
so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts,
what's so amazing about really deep thoughts,
boy you best pray that i bleed real soon, how's that thought for you?

Crucify:
every finger in the room is pointing at me, i wanna spit in their faces,
then i get afraid what that could bring.
i got a bowling ball in my stomach, i got a desert in my mouth,
figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Me & a Gun:
it was me and a gun and a man on my back
and i sang "holy holy"as he buttoned down his pants
you can laugh, its kind of funny,
things you think, times like these,
like i haven't seen Barbados
so i must get out of this

Leather:
look i'm standing naked before you
don't you want more than my sex
i can scream as loud as your last one
but i can't claim innocence

Tear in Your Hand (the song I have on repeat):
all the world just stopped now,
so you say you don't wanna stay together anymore
let me take a deep breath babe,
if you need me, me and neil'll be hangin' out with the dream king.
neil says hi by the way
i don't believe you're leaving cause me and charles manson like the same ice cream
i think it's that girl
and i think there're pieces of me you've never seen
maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well
all the world is, all i am
the black of the blackest ocean and that tear in your hand
all the world is danglin'...danglin'... danglin' for me darlin'
you don't know the power that you have
with that tear in your hand
that tear in your hand
maybe i ain't used to maybes
smashing in a cold room cutting my hands up every time i touch you
maybe maybe it's time
to wave goodbye now
time to wave goodbye now
caught a ride with the moon
i know i know you well, well better than i used to
haze all clouded up my mind, in the daze of the why
it could've never been so you say and i say, you know you're full of wish
and your "baby baby baby babies"
i tell you there're pieces of me you've never seen
maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen well