Concept4Banner1024 The Plural of Apocalypse: I Dream of Emmy

 Friday, June 23, 2006

I Dream of Emmy

(This post was started on May 24th, it has taken this long to get it fixed and posted, so you better fucking enjoy it!)

'Tis the time of year once again when Emmy ballots are generated and famous TV reviewers develop their own dream ballots. Well I'm no fancy professional TV reviewer, but I have an opinion on the Emmy ballots. Mostly I have this opinion because I think too often sub-par crap is recognized as greatness while true greatness is cast aside (7 years and not a single Buffy nomination outside of writing or make-up? WTF?? Did they even watch Buffy? I'll be the first to admit that "Paper Bag Gellar" isn't exactly Emmy material (wait, she has a day-time Emmy), but still Anthony Stewart Head? Emma Caufield? Alyson Hannigan? SOMEONE???). So this is my opinion. Love it or hate it, this is how I'd like to see it all go down:

Best Comedy Series:
Arrested Development AD was the funniest thing Fox has found in a very long time. Their sister nework FX has It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and the short-lived Starved, but Fox has been missing out on the progressive comedy as of late. Once again they are without, but the story of the Bluth family was some of the funniest shit ever put on TV.
Entourage For me, Jeremy Piven is what makes this show hilarious. His neurotic portrayl of the agent is awesome. This season though with the addition of many guest stars (Mandy Moore, Bai fucking Ling, Gary Busey), this show got really good and found it's stride. Emmy voters might shy away from this glimpse of their industry, but if they deny it's hilarious they are insane.
My Name is Earl I've been a fan of Jason Lee's since Mallrats, Ethan Suplee too. I find it funny that pairing these two Kevin Smith alumni has created such a 'talked about' show, considering their cult-status among the KS faithful (for those who are confused Suplee was Willem, the guy who couldn't see the Sailboat in the 3D picture). Earl's quest to right his karma is priceless. The addition of Crab-Man and Joy (who is one of the funniest characters ever conceived), makes this glimpse at white-trash even better.
The Office I've never watched the British version. Yes, I have BBC-America, no, I just haven't bothered to watch Ricky Gervais. So sue me. Steve Carell is one of my favoritest funny people. Whether he is Brick in Anchorman, The 40 Year Old Virgin, or Ethan in Bruce Almighty, his ability to play prick, idiot, or socially inept is terrific. He is an all around comedian, add to him the Pam-Jim love-thing and Dwight's meddling, nefarious ways, and you have a funny, if not semi-realistic, vision of office politics.
Scrubs This is the show they can't kill! Honest to God, they move it around, switch it's air-times, and people make the effort to follow it. Why? Because it is the funniest thing on TV. Hands down. Why? Because like all great comedies it walks the finest line between comedy and tragedy. Comedy is only funny when there is a threat of tragedy. Who would have ever thought that a hospital show would be so funny? Kelso's an asshole, the lawyer is in a barbershop quartet that at one time only sang TV theme songs, The Janitor has a vendetta, and an army of taxidermied squirrels, Cox is, well a cock with a heart of gold, Jordan is everyman's nightmare or dream depending on the man, Elliott is a girl even more screwed up and wierd than me, Carla has her shit together and her head screwed on right, Turk, her husband is JD's "Chocolate bear" and still has a frat-mentality with JD, who along with Turk was never cool enough to be Frat material, but who has a lot of thoughts which cause him to stare off into the distance. It also doesn't hurt that a kid I went to High School with is Lonnie the intern.

Who I'd like to see win: Scrubs. The show has been on 5 seasons now, it deserves a little bit of recognition. Plus it is the funniest thing on TV right now.



Best Actor, Comedy Series:
Jason Bateman, Michael Bluth - Arrested Development Jason already has recieved awards for this show, but his nomination, I think, would be a nice fuck-you to Fox.
Zach Braff, JD - Scrubs I love Zach, when he is done dating Mandy Moore, he should come and find me.
Steve Carell, Michael Scott - The Office Again with my love of the Carell!
Fred Goss, Cameron Walker - Sons and Daughters No one except me watched this show. I know this. WHY DIDN'T THE REST OF YOU TUNE IN??? This was ABC's attempt at Arrested Development, and I gotta say it was just finding it's stride when it was killed. A family sitcom where the family is falling apart, but where they are gossipy and insane, much like my own family, maybe this is why I liked it so much. Fred Goss was the main character and was the funniest neurotic on TV since George Michael Bluth. When this comes out on DVD I will be first in line to buy it.
Jason Lee, Earl Hickey - My Name is Earl Do I even need to explain this one?
Who I want to see win: I'd love to see Fred Goss take this, as not only was his show scripted, but a good deal of it was improvisational. Fred Goss will never get an actual nomination (except for from me and Michael Ausielo at TV Guide), which makes me desperately sad. I think Jason Lee will take it this year.

Best Actress, Comedy Series:
Alexis Bledel, Rory Gilmore - Gilmore Girls No one plays crazy-motormouth like Alexis Bledel, except maybe Lauren Graham. Rory's been through a lot this year, and still remained funny. Who else can make the Ivy League seem screwed-up? Plus she lived in the ghetto, where they described the gang on the corner as a "doo-wop group" to family members.
Marcia Cross, Bree - Desperate Housewives I hate Desperate Housewives, this show is stupid, but Bree is so fucked up that I find her to be hilarious.
Lauren Graham, Lorelei Gilmore - Gilmore Girls Oh Lorelei, why can you never stop your speed-freak ways long enough to see how much your life rocks?? Plus I love her dog, Paul Anka.
Mary-Louise Parker, Nancy - Weeds In the future, when my husband buys the farm and I am stuck in upper-class suburbia with no way to pay the bills and 2 kids, I hope I am awesome enough to sell pot. Then again, considering my career choice, this is probably a horrible idea. Regardless, Nancy is an excellent character!
Jessica Walter, Lucille - Arrested Development The Grande-Dame of the Bluth family under normal circumstances would be under Supporting Actress, but I think she was one of the characters that AD relied upon, and thus be becomes leading lady material to me.
Who I'd like to see win: Jessica Walter. But considering she'll never be nominated in this category, I'm gonna go for the long-running show with no nominations like ever, and say Alexis Bledel (this choice could be influenced by my having watched The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants last night, and my over-like of her as Becky in Sin City). Although Bledel even being nominated is like slim-to-none.
Best Supporting Actor, Comedy Series:
Donald Faison, Chris Turk - Scrubs As JD's fearless sidekick Faison rocks. As Carla's hubby, he rocks. Lip-Synching BelBivDevoe's "Poison" and having an entire dance number to go with it to get the lead singer spot in the air-band? Priceless.
Neil Patrick Harris, Barney - How I Met Your Mother Barney is the funniest new character on TV. He started out as a crunchy granola hippy-type who was headed to the Peace Core until a girl broke his heart, and now is a corporate slave who says things like "Suit Up," How anyone cannot love Barney after the Thanksgiving episode, I will never know.
John Krasinki, Jim - The Office He's Dwight's arch-nemesis, he's madly in love with Pam, and he is an example of that good-old dark sarcasm that is so missing from TV today.
John C. McGinley, Dr. Cox - Scrubs McGinley is Dr. Cox, there is no other human being on this planet that could play him. Ever.
Jeremy Piven, Ari - Entourage I've already sung my praises of the Piv. Plus we have it on good authority that The Piv loves hookers (and I'm not talking gals who crochet!)

Winner, Please: Neil Patrick Harris hands fucking down. Suit Up Bitches! (We also have it on good authority that he loves hookers too)
Best Supporting Actress, Comedy Series:
Sara Chalke, Elliot - Scrubs Elliot's hair has finally improved, and she doesn't often show up at the hospital looking like a painted baby. While this was endearing, I like my Elliot useless and non-functioning. The fact that she bagged an intern and let JD room with her, only makes her cool.
Jenna Fischer, Pam - The Office Proof that the Office Administrative Professional (that's secretary to those of us here on Earth), sees all, and knows all. Pam rules.
Alyson Hannigan, Lily - How I Met Your Mother She's a bondage loving kindergarten teacher who is marrying into a family of Minnesota giants. Aly's got seriously hysterical acting chops. Date Movie and the American Pie movie's only showed it to a point. Ladies and gentleman Michelle, the flute girl, is all grown up (and not with Biggs)!
Jaime Pressley, Joy - My Name is Earl Joy? Talk about name false advertising. After I saw the Y2K episode I realized that Jaime Pressley is a genius, and this role was made for her.
Alison Quinn, Sharon - Sons and Daughters Cameron's undersexed, but overly hilarious sister. Sharon is a maniac, in a good way.

Who I want to win: Jaime Pressley hands down.

Best Dramatic Series:
Battlestar Galactica This is not your daddy's BSG. Space was never this tense. It raises the important question: How do you fight an enemy that looks just like you who carries a religious zealotry that makes Falwell look normal? No I'm not saying this is a show about the USA, a good metaphor, but not exactly, cos the enemies are biomechanoid robots of sorts. Honestly this is the best hour of drama on TV. Plus: they found a way around the censors by using Frack instead of Fuck! Brilliant! (even though this is a throw back to the original series). I fought watching this series and now I can't live without it.
Big Love Polygamy isn't easy, it's also illegal. How do you deal with having 3 wives, after you realize you should have stopped with the first one and abandonded your polygamist background? Add into this a money hungry asshole who runs the polygamy compound and having an affair with your own wife, and you have Big Love.
Grey's Anatomy Meredith is fucked up, all her friends are too, so are all her mentors and her parents. Yup, everyone's fucked up. Did I mention that love doesn't really ever work the way you'd like and that no one is ever happy for more than 5 minutes?
House House knows everything, anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking idiot. Pain Killers anyone?
Lost This damn island gets more screwed up every day. BTW: How long have we been here?

Who should win: Battlestar Galactica, because honestly none of these shows can hold a candle to the drama of this show every week. There is a reason I got through the mini-series, season one and the first half of season 2 in roughly a week. I was captivated from minute one, Emmy voters should be as well.

Best Actor Dramatic Series:
David Boreanaz, Seely Booth - Bones Boreanaz is best known as Angel, and for taking parts in really shitty B-grade horror movies. Bones has shown that he can do more than kill and brood. He is actually really great on Bones. He slimmed down and cleaned up to play an FBI agent with a painful past and a kid. His character has more to him than meets the eye, and I think Boreanaz, as sad as this is, may be the most successful Post-Buffy alum (Aly not withstanding).
Ben Browder, Cameron Mitchell - Stargate SG1 This is another one of those series that is constantly looked over by everyone. Now the longest running Sci-Fi show in TV History, I think it's time we aknowledge that there is a reason for it's staying power. Ben Browder was awesome on Farscape, and he remains awesome on Stargate. He filled the really big shoes of Richard Dean Anderson and the show felt completely new. That is an impressive feat all of its own.
Hugh Laurie, House - House He's British, playing an asshole American doctor. I started watching this show mostly cos it was the only thing on at it's time, then I totally got sucked in. I blame the fact that I would have loved to be a doctor, and I have a thing for people who just tell everyone else to fuck off cos they know they are right (and he generally is). The season finale this year kinda freaked me out, what with the exploding testicles and 'it was all a dream' thing, but still it's one of the best medical dramas on TV and Laurie is the reason why.
Edward James Olmos, Admiral Bill Adama - Battlestar Galactica The Old Man rules. Sometime you've gotta roll the hard six. Olmos and Sci-fi go way back, all the way to Blade Runner. He claims he did the show to be the first Latino leader in space, I think he did it cos it's one of the best written series on TV, and he could not let this opportuniy pass. This is the role of a lifetime, something that will make his obituary. Olmos never fails, ever. You love him even when you hate him as Adama. He's got issues, the war was lost before it began, but he knows hope is what matters. BSG would not be the show it is without Olmos.
Bill Paxton, Bill Hendrickson - Big Love Bill Hendrickson is fucked. Two of his wives are disasters walking, he is being harassed by one of their fathers, extortion is going on and he has to figure out a way to make everything appear legal (ie: not polygamy). It is not easy to show a depth of character that spans every emotion and sometimes all in the same show. he is a struggling man, and Paxton was made for the role.

Who I Want to Win: Edward James Olmos, hands down, that's how we roll the hard six!

Best Actress Dramatic Series:
Kirsten Bell, Veronica Mars - Veronica Mars I do not have UPN, but every episode of Veronica Mars I have caught was awesome. Bell is incredibly talented (anyone see her as Mary Jane in Reefer Madness? (a role she reprised from her role on Broadway, yeah I said Broadway)), and I'm pretty sure Joss Whedon would create a show exclusively for her should VM fail. This is not a coincidence. I pray that the CW replaces my WB so I can watch VM (that's a lotta initials), mostly cos Bell carries a big show nearly on her own. And she is adorable and incredibly talented. Give me Bell!
Christina Cole, Cassandra "Cassie" Hughes-McBain - Hex This is the best thing to come out of Britain since Dr Who and The Office, only this takes itself far more seriously. I've recently discovered this show, and if you aren't watching it (on BBC America, Thursdays at 9 central) you are seriously missing out! Christina Cole plays that fine line between super powerful woman and damaged little girl. I can only see this show getting better, and Cole becoming even more convincing!
Emily Deschanel, Tempe "Bones" Brennan - Bones You might be more familiar with her sister Zoey Deschanel. These Deschanel girls are talented. Emily plays Tempe a socially awkward, socially retarded, forensic science genius. She works with the dead cos she doesn't understand the living. This is not easily portrayed. Tempe is screwed up, shes got boat loads of issues. She was abandonded, her parents went missing, her brother left her and she was raised in foster care. That alone makes for some pretty screwed up stuff. Add to that she's a genius who submerged herself in academia and came out the other end with a PHD and the inability to deal with the rest of humanity. Emily rules as Tempe, did I mention she like sto shott stuff?
Mary McDonnell, Laura Roslin - Battlestar Galactica President Airlock has survived Cylon attack, breast cancer, a rigged election, and a lot of other crap. Hell she even survived Billy. Mary McDonnell's come a long way since Dances with Wolves, and this role is complex and ever changing.
Ellen Pompeo, Meredith Grey - Grey's Anatomy Meredith makes bad choices. She pays for them every day. Ellen Pompeo has mastered the art of the whiney pout. But even though she is a complete trainwreck, somehow I completely relate to her. Pompeo pulls it all off and makes it believeable. Favorite line: "I had pink hair and wore a lot of black in high school, the prom really wasn't my thing" Mostly cos that describes me in high school.

Who I Want to Win: Kristen Bell!! (although Mary McDonnell is actually FAR more likely to win)


Best Supporting Actor, Dramatic Series:
James Callis, Gaius Baltar - Battlestar Galactica Gaius Baltar is one of the finest examples of "is he or isn't he" crazy on TV. I actually can't imagine anyone other than Callis playing Gaius. It takes a great actor to walk the fine-line between sanity and insanity, between genius and idiot, Callis pulls this razor's edge off wonderfully. His delightful twist to run for president again the current president (whom he was vice president to) only makes me wonder what else Gaius has in store for us, considering he surrendered to the Cylons (but that wasn't really a shock was it?). He is irresponsible and a complete mess, yet no one ever sees him that way, plus he likes whores and booze. Plus he is involved in most of the really excellent sex scene, which is important to me. Good times.
Omar Epps, Foreman - House Epps plays the angry young black man that Pratt used to be on ER. Only he pulls it off. Foreman was hired by house not because he was a brilliant doctor, but because he had a juvenile recond for breaking and entering. He is constantly at odds with House, and is constantly accusing him of racism, yet he still has respect for House. It's not easy to play a well respected brilliant doctor who just happens to be the angry young black man, Epps doesn't just do it, he sells it.
TR Knight, George - Grey's Anatomy George loves Meredith, Meredith doesn't love George, George needs to grow a pair. As a guy who worships Meredith, George is a boring character, so I am a little glad that their tryst went horribly awry and is all sorts of over now. George has really grown into his own, he convinced Baily to have that damn baby even though her husband was on the brink, he's dating Callie who is the best addition to the show outside of the vetrinarian, and he seems to be growing up right before our eyes. George is a good doctor not just cos he's smart, but because he relates, he is a relatable character that TR Knight does a fabulous job playing. Broadway misses him, but I'd miss him more.
Goran Visnjic, Luka Kovac - ER Luka has been through a lot of shit in the last 5 years. Goran Visnjic has done an amazing job being Luka. It's not easy being a damaged genocide survivor, it's also not easy to run a Chicago ER. Why has this man never gotten an Emmy nod? Is it the Serbian thing? I hope not, cos he is a very gifted actor, if you have any doubts go see Welcome to Sarajevo.
Isaiah Washington, Preston Burke - Grey's Anatomy Washington is getting a nod from me for #1 playing a character which is so the antithesis of every character he has ever been, and #2 cos it's gotta be a bitch playing boyfriend to Sandra Oh's character. Washington does a fantastic job, and is convincing as the best cardiac surgeon in the Northwest. This season took Burke on a lot of highs and lows, and I think the season finale (with his possibly destroyed career due to gun fire) is only opening the door for Burke to further develop as a character, which is the point right?

Who I want to win: James Callis, Hands down. He is the best baddie on TV right now, mostly cos he doesn't realize he's bad and very few around him do. I eagerly await the series' return just to see what he does next!

Who of my choices would actually win: Isaiah Washington, and he totally deserves it.


Best Supporting Actress, Dramatic Series:
Katherine Heigl, Izzie - Grey's Anatomy I've been a fan of Heigl's since before she was Isabel on Roswell (does she only play Isabel's?). She has a lot of depth and can play almost anything. Her turn as white-trash turned underwear model turned surgical resident has been her best work yet! There is a lot more to Izzie Stevens than meets the eye, and she's good at concealing reality from those around her. Her relationship with both Alex and Denny shows that even if you are gorgeous, things rarely work out as planned. The neurotic moments of her scheme to get Denny's new heart brought something new to the table: her ability to scare the crap out of people. Heigl rules.
Tricia Helfer, Six/Gina - Battlestar Galactica Tricia Helfer has actually played a ton of different versions of the Six model on BSG, she was Six on Caprica before the cylon attack, she was Six who asked "are you alive?" before blowing up the Armistice station, she's been seen in her White Coat several times on Caprica post-boom, she's been Shelley Godfrey the woman who tried to expose Gaius for the fraud and traitor that he is, she's the Six in Gaius' head, she's Gina the tortured cylon from the Pegasus who ends up trouble, she's Caprica Six - hero to all cylons for infiltrating the defense system, Caprica Six is also haunted by Gaius Baltar and is different than her other models, there's the Six warrior model who beats Sharon's face to convince Helo she was beaten or who beats the hell out of Starbuck, there's the Six at the Farm, there's the Six who leads a troop of Centurions, do you get the picture? This woman plays about 20 different versions of one character. This isn't easy. She's come a long way from winning 1992's Supermodel of the World contest, and can actually act! Tricia Helfer got to show a lot of depth this season with the addition of Gina and Caprica-Six. She's not just a bitch anymore, she's a victim, and a woman blinded by love. Helfer does a terrific job being all versions of Six and will do well with any new incarnations they can come up with!
Parminder Nagra, Neela - ER Neela is constantly getting screwed. Finally the writers on ER have realized that her character has so much room for growth, and have taken advantage of it. From marrying a soldier-boy, to him choosing war over her, to Ray her best friend (who just happens to be madly in love with her and vice verse), to Galant's death, and her surgical internship. Neela finally feels like a real, defective human being like the rest of us. Thank god!
Katee Sackoff, Starbuck - Battlestar Galactica I love Starbuck. Katee Sackoff and I have the same birthday (Grace Park and Emma Caufield too), Katee Sackoff is awesome. To go along with my apparent theme of broken women, Starbuck is more than just some cock-sure ace pilot, she's also an expert sniper. J/K This season we got to see Starbuck in love (and how quickly and irrationally it happens), we got to see even more issues and tension between her and Apollo (will they ever just get naked? Please??), and we got to see her just be her regular kick-ass self, we also got to see that even she has limits to what she will do. Plus I think her rapidly growing hair is remarkable.
Chandra Wilson, Bailey - Grey's Anatomy Bailey is probably one of the most interesting African American female characters on TV right now, well on a major network (wait, UPN is gone). Sadly black women seem to really get the shaft when it comes to prime TV roles. I don't know why this is. She's tough, but lovable, she's stubborn, but giving, and the woman can plan a prom like you wouldn't believe. Her character isn't about being black, it's about being a strong, smart woman, and all the obstacle which you face being as such. She is the antithesis of Meredith, and I love her for it.

Who I want to Win: Tricia Helfer, I love me some Katee Sackoff, but Tricia Helfer works her ass off and does an awesome job!


Now I know the rest of you probably have an opinion (I already know one will be: Where's 24?), so let it loose. Again this is MY list of Emmy Noms, so of course it is naturally biased to shows I watch and like and characters and actors I respect. So sue me!

Votes Of Sympathy:4

Comments Blogger Serra said...

I almost forgot to warn you--I'm moving back next week.

4:38 PM  
Comments Blogger Croaker said...

I don't think I have ever seen more work go into a post.

7:09 AM  
Comments Blogger S.T. Lewis said...

I totally agree on the comedies (which is pretty much all I watch). Arrested Development was the best show ever... I'm having a hard time dealing with its cancellation. But at least I still have Scrubs, The Office, and Earl. Great post... and great blog.

10:24 AM  
Comments Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...

Thanks guys!
Serra: Welcome back to the land of cheese and brats (the brats you eat not theones you kick)

Croaker: You aren't wrong

ST: Welcome!

12:04 PM  

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